Still here, still hungry.

OH WOW.

Thank you for your compassionate response to my ED recovery story. Sharing it was hard and weird and wonderfully freeing, and I have no regrets. Since food and fitness have been major talking points around here, I want to be honest about how my view of health is evolving. I own my missteps and am so grateful for the discourse surrounding that post.

I want to quickly address what that means for this, uh, food blog…because nothing gets the appetite going like mental illness, no? I mentioned that my fixation with food was a product of my uber-restrictive diet and a way of distracting myself from loneliness and lack of purpose. That’s a bummer, and valuable knowledge for me. I’m working toward a new normal that does NOT involve food as the source of every joy, frustration, success or failure (and also involves eating a lot more of it). Part of that means stepping away from the stove and taking a good hard look at what’s missing elsewhere.

That said, cooking is a huge part of who I am. And I don’t think that needs to change. I still believe in food as a source of connection and creativity. It’s just up to me to make sure I’m using it that way. Sharing stories and recipes here keeps me accountable to exploring the moments before, during, and after the meal, and to spinning them into something bigger than me. I want to love food not just as an end in itself, but for what I take away once my plate is clear.

So that’s that. We back. Let’s not make this awkward like LOL I MEAN LIKE COME ON GUYS BE COOL.

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